I think I've sat down at least 3 times to try to update you in the last couple of weeks, but weirdly enough, I'm not sure how far I want to go in what I say. I think it's because I feel really fragile right now. Sounds corny telling you that, but it's absolutely true. I'm happy one minute and a complete mess the next. Ladies and gentlemen, the rollercoaster has hit new highs and new lows. I really do need to find a new metaphor for the emotion of all this, but geez, it's all I can think of to describe the "process."
All the things I want to talk about via this blog seem to come to me at night when I lay my head on the pillow, turn out the lights and close my eyes. I wouldn't quite call it "creative juices," but more like inner ramblings and wanderings. My brain goes in so many different directions. And the thing is, when you know you have all these blessings around you, it's hard to sit down and type something that sounds so unbelievabley negative. Things aren't bad here, they just aren't home. That's to be expected. <self realization moment> I HAVE to quite talking about this place like it isn't my home now. It is my home...for at least the next 33 months. I owe it to myself and my family to make this our home. So maybe I'll leave it at that tonight.
A very dear person to me always used to say, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Until then, I'll suck it up (thanks mom - I do love you for that piece of advice this morning) and come back in a day or two with more positive words. I'm going to allow God to continue to work on me.
Love to you all,
Wendy
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