Middle of the day

Ok, so yeah, it's been more than a day or two since my last post.  And yes, that is about how long it's taken me to get in the right frame of mind to update the blog.  And plus, updating this thing when it's late isn't maybe the best time.  Yes it's much more quiet in the house, but I'm also completely exhausted, which could equal a more emotional state maybe?  LOL!  So it's the middle of the day here and I'm giving it a shot.  ;-)  At least I'm starting this one with the best of intentions on NOT boo-hooing before I even get to the end!

One extremely big bright spot since April 16th was celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary.  I've really been thinking about our relationship lately.  The thought that remains front and center for me is how very lucky I am.  Before we met, Sam was unlucky in love, having dealt with women (2 in particular) who now proudly have nicknames from very memorable South Park episodes. And me, well the guys weren't bad guys and lucky for me, none were worthy of nicknames from South Park, rather they just weren't right for me or I wasn't right for them...however you choose to look at it. Whatever master plan God was working out for us, I'm thankful.  Some have told me they think Sam and I are an odd pairing, as we are complete opposites.  But I will tell you, we agree on the things that matter.  Sam is a man who changed baby diapers in the middle of the night, fed the babies when he was able, changed a poo diaper without whining first, gives the kids a bath (to this day), hangs out with them, reads to them, holds the kids when they're up in the middle of the night with a bad cough, and above all else encourages them.  I know these sound like things for the kids, but I appreciate them as if they were for me.  A helping husband equals a happy wife.  He's my confidant and best friend in the whole world.  There is not another man that I could ever picture myself loving more than this man.  I only wish I had met him sooner than I did, as it would have been another day, another month, another year loving him.  I'll take comfort in the fact that God will hopefully grant me another 60 years to be a part of this marriage.

The weekend of our anniversary we had a nice dinner at Panorama overlooking the ocean - it was lovely!  We saw a movie, which haven't done in more than a year, and we came home early to tuck our kids in bed.  We spent Sunday at church and then getting ready to host some friends to help us celebrate with a nice dinner.  Dave, Jane and her mother Marjorie gave us a lovely Sangria set, recipe and all!  There is one thing I love here in Oz and that is Jane's Sangria!  I'm excited to try my hand at it.  :-)

My friend Alison (who is Australian) told me today about a woman who is from Boston that she's met a couple of times in the last few months.  They've chatted at Rob's work functions.  Alison asked this woman how she was getting on and the woman's reply was simply that she was merely tolerating being here.  She told Alison that she hasn't met anyone that she sees herself having "meaningful relationships" with and she really just wants to move home to Boston and "put down roots."  First of all, you all should know, Alison is one of the kindest sweetest souls I've ever met.  She's a fabulous mom and friend.  I feel incredibly lucky that God brought the two of us together months ago.  How sad for this lady from Boston that she couldn't see past her own...crap...or whatever you want to call it, to see a meaningful relationship standing in front of her, asking her how she was getting on.  One thing is for sure, I am not and do not want to be that person.  However homesick I may be, I am not "emotionally shut down for business."  For me, the people that I have befriended here are what make it all worth it.  I'm meeting people from many different cultures and backgrounds, and I'm embracing it.  I see this as one of God's many gifts to me.  It's a pretty amazing thing when you can set down at a table in the park with 3 other women, all from different countries. There are so many things that you find you have in common....things that transcend all cultural boundaries.  Even better is to see all the children playing together as if they have been best friends their whole lives!  It's really amazing!

Hmm, yes, I think I'll post in the middle of the day again.  I'm smiling and not teary at all.  The sun is shining and my heart is full.  It's a good day.

Love to you all,
Wendy

Type - Delete - Start Over

I think I've sat down at least 3 times to try to update you in the last couple of weeks, but weirdly enough, I'm not sure how far I want to go in what I say.  I think it's because I feel really fragile right now.  Sounds corny telling you that, but it's absolutely true.  I'm happy one minute and a complete mess the next.  Ladies and gentlemen, the rollercoaster has hit new highs and new lows. I really do need to find a new metaphor for the emotion of all this, but geez, it's all I can think of to describe the "process." 

All the things I want to talk about via this blog seem to come to me at night when I lay my head on the pillow, turn out the lights and close my eyes.  I wouldn't quite call it "creative juices," but more like inner ramblings and wanderings.  My brain goes in so many different directions.  And the thing is, when you know you have all these blessings around you, it's hard to sit down and type something that sounds so unbelievabley negative.  Things aren't bad here, they just aren't home.  That's to be expected.  <self realization moment>   I HAVE to quite talking about this place like it isn't my home now.  It is my home...for at least the next 33 months.  I owe it to myself and my family to make this our home.  So maybe I'll leave it at that tonight. 

A very dear person to me always used to say, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Until then, I'll suck it up (thanks mom - I do love you for that piece of advice this morning) and come back in a day or two with more positive words.  I'm going to allow God to continue to work on me.

Love to you all,
Wendy